Lawn—1, Tiffany & David—0

The lawn kicked my a&* tonight... But what a workout!

I pulled into our driveway tonight and caught David mowing the lawn out of the corner of my eye... with our push mower. Huh.

We have two mowers—a push mower and a riding mower. We bought the riding mower two years ago when we moved into our current abode. Since that time, we have replaced the blades about six, maybe seven times. Our yard is a bit of a ticking time bomb when you mow; tree roots, stumps and rocks have a way of burying themselves under dead leaves and lawn clippings.

Last year, we broke the lawn mower on its first spin around the yard in spring. And I mean we REALLY broke it. It went off to the repair shop with a six-week turnaround. Faced with no alternative, we purchased a cheap, NON-self-propelled push mower.

Perhaps you can see where this is going? :)

David broke the riding mower today... super stump wins again!

And that's where I come in. After dinner, David decides to go back out and work on the lawn some more. Noah had other ideas. Daddy was SO COOL tonight, he wasn't willing to let him go.

So I happily volunteered to mow the lawn... with the push mower I've never, ever used. After all, I normally love to mow (on a riding mower)—there's all those neat rows of cut grass, and the smell is out of this world!

After a quick tutorial on operating the push mower, David steps back. I crank the string... success! I go two feet... stuck! Dang, this push mower (when it's not self-propelled) is HARD. The situation is compounded because of those stupid moles who have taken over our yard. Every few feet I'm running into mole tunnels that the mower cannot move past. As a result, our lawn looks like it was scalped—repeatedly and aggressively.

After one minute, I'm sweating profusely. I'm working UPHILL, me vs. mole hills. I'm dying (and swearing at the moles).

Five minutes later, my legs are burning.

David and Noah watch me from the safety of the front porch (I can almost hear the snickers), and David calls me over not even 10 minutes in.

Switch?

Nah... I'm determined. Another pass UPHILL (unfortunately I can't avoid it). I'm learning into the mower at a 45-degree angle, chest straining against the handle, arms shaking, unbearably short legs pumping. I'm getting nowhere.

This went on for a good hour. What I normally mow in 20 minutes (or less) with the riding mower, I couldn't accomplish in 60 minutes. Sad, so sad.

Like I said, Lawn–1, McCallens—0.

Plan of action: purchase lawn roller (bye-bye mole hills) and new blades, roll lawn, install new blades in riding mower, kick Lawn's a#&!!