My bad!

I was driving in the car today and had one of those "oh crap" moments. In this case, I nearly turned the wrong way down a one-way street (I know what you're thinking: Mount Vernon has one-way streets? Mount Vernon has streets period? Yes, it does... we're so metropolitan up here).

As a result of my bad maneuver, I had to do an emergency didn't-mean-to-almost-turn-here half U-turn, and I thoroughly ticked off the car behind me doing so. Now that car had every right to be angry. I would have been boiling too if I were them. My issue was how to say sorry without both of us having our car windows down and me shouting across traffic, "I'm sorry! I had a moment!"

Instead, I raised my hand toward the offended car and tried to look contrite and embarrassed. As my fingers reached toward the sky, I thought, "What if Mr. Angry Car thinks I'm given him attitude rather than an apology?" Obviously that's what Mr. Angry Car thought because as he drove by he gave me a universal sign all Americans understand: he waved a big, throbbing finger at me. Whoops.

Rather than waste time pondering on how rude Mr. Angry Car was (even though I was at fault, I didn't mean to be!), I started thinking about car sign language. It's really lacking, you know. All we've got as means of communication are:

• The "Go ahead, I'll wait" wave—everyone loves this one! Such kindness, such generosity!
• The "Thanks for letting me out" hand—this was the same hand I failed miserably at waving to mean "I'm sorry"
• The "Hey what are you doing?!" hands (palms up, angry look)—never good
• The perturbed fist pump "You idiot!"—a favorite of elderly gentleman who are crossing the street and cars drive in front of them (presumable because it will take a while for them to get to the other side)
• The finger. 'Nuff said.
  
• In the country, this one is often used, "It's all clear; drive around!" circular wave—tractors, combines, cars pulling wagons, bikers, whatever...everyone wants you to pass them if possible so you don't ride up on their bumpers/heinies, and we appreciate it!
• And the classic, "STOP" hand, used by all traffic cops and school crosswalk personnel. No complaints there.
  

So where, my friends, is the sign for "My bad! So sorry"? I think we have an epidemic on our hands (literally) here. Somebody needs to either invent a sign or start a campaign to standardize one. People on highways all over the world could benefit, and perhaps fewer birds would take flight in busy intersections. Yes, that's my dream, and hey, it's a heck of a lot easier to attain than world peace!