A toast to my sister and her husband

Eleven years ago this past Saturday, I was the maid of honor in the wedding of my sister, Jennifer, and her hubbie, Chris. I was also 19 and naive.

I enjoyed and was comfortable about all the aspects of the wedding—the dress (oh to be young and thin again!), the festivities, my role as unity candle vocalist during the ceremony, arranging the train of Jen's dress, etc. I assumed, then, that my toast as maid of honor would just come naturally too. After all, I'm not shy as a public speaker, I have a decent way with words... it should have been a cake walk.

I did not, however, count on the amount of alcohol I would consume in the hours between the ceremony and the reception. Oh man did I consume!

By the time our party bus of 20(?) people arrived at the reception site, we were all well lubricated. One bridesmaid literally walked off the bus, into the reception hall where we were about to have a family dinner prior to the real party, sat down at the head table, ate one roll, said "I'm going to be sick," and was never seen the rest of the evening. That should be an indicator of the bridal party's condition at the time.

And we didn't let some chicken & green beans almondine or the thought of five hours ahead of us spoil or slow down our drinking fun. And so it went for the next hour or so until the other guests arrived and it was time to toast the bride and groom. I think Bob (Chris' brother and the best man) went first. He was horrible.

And then it was my turn. I was horrible. I babbled, I said "um" a lot... I don't know if I even completed a sentence. The guests were still polite and clapped when I raised my glass in a salute to the happy couple, but I'm certain they were snickering under their breath. It was really, really bad.

So today, I would like to make it up to my sister by giving she and Chris a new toast. Not only I do owe her on principle alone, she also gave a fantastic and moving speech at my own wedding a few years ago. So she deserves better! If I could edit this new version into her wedding video, I would. Since that's not a possibility, I hope she'll appreciate it being posted here and check back from time to time as a reminder to what I would have said so many years ago.

My toast to Jen & Chris:

Good evening, everyone. Thank you to all of you for making the journey to be with Jen and Chris today as they begin their life together. Before I get any further, I want to formally congratulate them on taking the first step in what will certainly be a lifetime of happiness.

As maid of honor, I know that this is the part of the toast where tradition encourages the dispensation of endearing advice on how to keep a marriage exciting, engaging and filled with joy. But how does one give advice to her big sister? After all, I have spent the better part of 19 years looking up to Jen and taking cues from her on how to live my life to its fullest.

As I'm certain Chris already knows, Jen is a remarkable role model. As my big sister, she has taught me what I consider to be invaluable life skills.

For instance, when I was only a few years old, Jen taught me the merits of endurance. I can recall on more than one occasion how she would remain at an empty dining room table for hours rather than eat 10 tiny lima beans.

Before I was 10, she'd shown me the the art of persuasion. I quickly picked up on how to properly blackmail our older brothers. Just a hint of tattling to mom and dad about them playing basketball in the living room while our folks were out could reap serious bounty for we girls!

In high school, I easily could have been her cosmetology student. After all, it takes the highest level of skill to use curling irons, blow dryers and aerosol hairspray to produce bangs that reached five to seven inches in height—a feat she accomplished daily for several years running.

Somewhere along the way as we grew up together, I learned other things from her too. I watched the kind way she treated people—all people—and the way they, in turn, were naturally drawn to her. I watched her excel at everything she tried—academics, music, sports, writing, and I wanted to be just like her.

When she went off to college I noticed that she never looked back and embraced this new adventure full-on. And later, when she met Chris there, I saw her effortlessly love and be loved by him and the idea of a life together with each other. He brings out the best in her and she in him.

I hope to one day live up to their fine example. But for today, let us all raise our glasses and toast Jen & Chris. May you enjoy an amazing lifetime together, and may we all never stop learning from your love.

Cheers!