What if...

I know as a woman I am hard wired to play the game of "What if" a little more often than my manly counterpart. In high school and college, "What if" wasn't a phrase I lingered on, instead opting for the "that can't happen to me" attitude (which, by the way, I was wrong about most of the time).

When I got married, however, I noticed the "what if's" creeping more and more into my vocabulary (mostly when David and I were apart). And then when Noah came along, I developed a full-blown rash of "what if's" I haven't been able to shake since.

On the way to work this morning, I found my "what if" mode in full force as I drove through a pelting thunderstorm. The rain beating on my Sante Fe's roof was so loud Noah started to get a little nervous in the back seat. He uttered a little "aa??" I sang a verse or two of Old McDonald in response, and he drifted right off into dreamland (I bet you didn't know a "mooooo" could be so soothing.)

With him settled in, I could turn my attention back to imagining a host of disastrous situations... What if one of those enormous, white-hot lightning bolts snake and sizzle their way down to my car instead of those trees in the middle of the field I'm driving by? What would that do to my car and the passengers in it? (For the answer, check out the P.S.)

Or, when my tires started to choke and slip through a deep puddle of water I hadn't noticed, causing me to swerve off the road... what if I hadn't been able to correct the direction I was headed? What if instead I launched our car into the fence and field beyond?

What IS it about the worry gene rearing its ugly head now? In the back of my head, I can almost hear my mom and dad laughing, having seen one of their "You just wait until you have kids" prophesies fulfilled. Ugh, it's irritating when they're right! :)

I suppose the best way to handle a ravaging case of the "what if's" is with a little prayer and a smile... for each "what if" that doesn't turn into "what is," I count another blessing in my book.

P.S. I looked it up: Lightning rarely hits cars... and when it does, it usually zooms right into the ground, traveling through the metal on the outside of your car. Just keep your hands on the steering wheel, and you'll be a-okay. :)