A tale of two weiners

You learn a lot in a car ride with your kids. Today, I had this conversation with Noah, which alternately stopped my heart and then had me laughing out loud.

Noah: Mommy, that man put his hands on a weiner.

(heart slams into my chest)

Me: Say that again, Noah? Did you say a man put his hands on a weiner?

Noah: Yes. He touched it and then pulled it away.

(pulse quickens)

Me: What man did that?

Noah: A man today.

Me: At Miss Ayse's house? (the sitter)

Noah: Yeah.

Me: You saw a man touch a weiner today at Miss Ayse's house? Where did that happen?

Noah: On Miss Ayse's road.

(holy cow)

Me: Tell me more about that, Noah.

Noah: It was a movie.

Me: You saw a movie with a man who touched a weiner?!

(alarm, but less than before)

Noah: Yeah!

Me: Was it a cartoon?

Noah: Yeah. It was a cartoon.

(curious now... all I can think of is Family Guy or Simpsons)

Me: Were there animals in the movie?

Noah: Yes, there was. A bear and a deer.

Me: Was there a doggie too?

Noah: There WAS a doggy!

Me: So you saw a movie with a bear, a deer, and a man who touched a weiner?

Noah: Yeah, he took the weiner away.

(total understanding now... relaxing)

Me: Was the weiner a doggie, and did the man pick it up?

Noah: Yes! He took the weiner.

Me: That sounds funny, buddy.

Noah: It was, mommy. It was REALLY funny.

Me (in a text message to the sitter): Did you guys watch "Open Season" (the cartoon) in the car today?

Ayse: (text) Yes! Noah was talking about it? I'm surprised he knew the name.

Me: (text): He didn't. But I have a hilarious story to tell you on Wednesday...